Monday, February 22, 2010

How To Thank Pastor Funeral Help With My Poem, Please?

Help with my poem, please? - how to thank pastor funeral

I got a job for the class to write a poem, and I am aware very well that I would be a terrible writer, I offer constructive criticism on the poem are greatly appreciated. Thank you Dollar!

"The Girl in White"

He expects that about 24
A kind, round face
Fine wrinkles around the eyes.

His face is pale, but his cheeks are red with an increased
His smoky eye makeup
Her bright red lips.

A string of pearls around the neck of his age
What once belonged to her grandmother
As its name.

She is dressed in white
Dressed with a coat of lace and silk
A special dress for the occasion.

His dark hair falls in curls around her face
The prohibitionGS raised the front by a clip
Borrow from a friend who had insisted on using that day.

A blue sapphire bracelet hanging from his wrist
Shimmering against his pale skin
It is a beautiful sight indeed.

Something old, something new
Something Borrowed, Something Blue.

The church doors open
The first people to come and go immediately to their
Everyone followed occurs.

They gather around him, whispering
With tears in his eyes that tell you how much I love her and how beautiful she is
To say they do not expect that this day so soon and wish him good luck.

His face always remains the same
Quiet and calm
All alone.

Suddenly the Lord asks Pastor Supply
The sound goes off and the people take one last look at his
The funeral service begins.

3 comments:

buddy_co... said...

I consider myself a budding poet, and therefore plays a crucial role in far NW .............. Another thing is u deserve my sincere gratitude for things that UR and hats .. ...... ...... Keep the best ... sorry for the critical supplyin ........... n

oruboris said...

What exactly does this poem? Leave no line breaks, and is a short story, poetry, there is absolutely no structure.

Oh, and I realized that I should be a funeral in mid-verse, 3rd

Flowers said...

I love you, I thought at first was a wedding, but the end is amazing, well done

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